Addict
by NickeltheRed
Summary: Based on the song Addicted, by Kelly Clarkson. What really could've happened to Ginny and Dean's short relationship during HBP? Ginny has been, and will be plagued by Tom's existence for awhile longer.


**I wrote this on the day after I went to the midnight-premier of **_**Half-Blood Prince. **_**And then I realized how fitting Kelly Clarkson's song, **_**Addict**_** was concerning Ginny's history with Tom. This plot follows certain senses of the movie more so than the book, keep that in mind. **

**I was still in my slight Tom/(older)Ginny phase back then, while I was writing the others in my collection, that's all. (If you don't understand this pairing, please don't flame about it, please just respect my opinion as a decent person.)**

* * *

><p>With her hands still around the mug, Ginny blushed as Dean leaned forward to kiss her. It had been so sweet of him for taking her to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer, and when they had arrived, there was a booth empty in a far corner, with a white rose on the table waiting for her.<p>

_You can do better than this thing, _the voice awakened from the dark secretive depths of her. _Do you not have something more productive to do?_

Ginny's secrets were many, and they had piled, and she after some time she was able to create a metaphorical well within herself, where she poured those precious secrets into and made certain to lock them in tight.

She was charming and innocent to the common eye, a very good soul. But even so, she held mysteries that remained unraveled by all others. By now, she was a perfectionist when it came to keeping a secret. It worked for her, because instead of the well overflowing, it just made itself deeper.

_**It**_'_**s like you're a drug**_

_**It's like you're a demon I can't face down**_

_**It's like I'm stuck**_

_**It's like I'm running from you all the time**_

_**And I know I let you have all the power**_

_**It's like the only company I seek is misery all around**_

But the voice—sure, her secrets were secure —though only the voice was capable of leaking out, and to trickle down and mix itself within the pool of her thoughts.

_He is not worth your time_, the voice tried again. _He is a lowly creature._

Ginny's counter move was to deepen the kiss. The voice groaned with irritation.

"_What's the matter?"_ she challenged, then inwardly laughing, _"You not enjoying being welded to a soul of a youthful girl with special wants?"_

_You do realize I have to watch this, right? _It snarled.

A bodiless voice had no way of essentially watching them Ginny knew for a fact, but she understood what it intended to say. She squeezed Dean's hand, and she felt him smile beneath her lips from her encouragement.

"_Go ahead, deal with it,"_ she quipped, _"It's my body, my soul you've chose, so it's your mistake."_

_He is not the right type for you. He will soon move on to other eligible young women._

"_Sure, sure, are you done now?"_

The voice pressed on_, once you start to bore him, he will drop you like a rugged old hat._

_How long…how far are you willing to go to keep him pleased?_

Ginny pondered, and Dean noticed. He drew away asking if something he did was wrong, but Ginny didn't answer him at first. Instead she froze and gazed into her lap.

_**It's like you're a leech**_

_**Sucking the life from me**_

_**It's like I can't breathe**_

_**Without you inside of me**_

_**And I know I let you have all the power**_

_**And I realize I'm never going to quit you over time**_

It was the voice's turn to laugh, as it sensed her sudden hesitation. _You are only putting yourself back in that position, like with the diary? Honestly Ginevra…you make it so easy for others to use you…._

She shouldn't have acted so arrogant just now, she should have known better. The voice knew more about her that than anyone. And when she got too bold, or too cocky, the voice turned downright cruel, prodding at her weakest points.

"Ginny?" Dean raised his brow.

She stood from the booth, and reached for her handbag, "I'm sorry, Dean," she quivered, and masked her rapid unease that best she could, "This was wonderful, really, but I'm just not…ready."

Though Ginny was already out the door by the time Dean had called out another worried protest.

_**It's like I can't breathe**_

_**It's like I can't see anything**_

_**Nothing but you**_

_**I'm addicted to you**_

_**It's like I can't think**_

_**Without you interrupting me**_

_**In my thoughts**_

_**In my dreams**_

_**You've taken over me **_

Through the next week or two, Dean was persistent with Ginny, determined to find out what was wrong and pleaded to her for more chances. She did eventually give it another try, of course, since she was not a coldhearted person. However Dean, was unfortunately thrown off track once again by another random emotional flip-flop of Ginny's.

During one evening, Ginny took sanctuary in the girl's washroom. She gathered cool water in the bowl of her hands. How could that have happened? Out on another perfectly pleasant date with Dean, and at the end, she unexpectedly snapped. In all honesty her outbreak had taken her by surprise as much as it took Dean. She had accused him of simply using her, after he happened to crack a joke about her casual easygoingness. In its place, she had perceived the observation as, _You're so easy._

_**It's like I'm lost**_

_**It's like I'm giving up slowly**_

_**It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me**_

_**Leave me alone**_

_**And I know these voices in my head**_

_**Are mine alone**_

_**And I know I'll never change my ways**_

_**If I don't give you up now**_

* * *

><p>Cleansing her face, she sighed and gazed at her reflection. The red strands that framed her face were damp now from the rinse, and she looked quite…tired. She sighed again while reaching for a towel.<p>

"_Maybe I could apologize."_

From her spirit's well, a current of thick sarcasm streamed out then. _Yes, tell him that you act out of sorts at times because you battle with a figure of your past, who is known to be ruined._

"Shut it. Come on, Gin, pull yourself together," she murmured to the mirror. "You'll truly go mad if you keep thinking it's real, thinking he's still here. The voices in your head are only yours…."

_Precisely. You clash with yourself at times as if you are two separate people. Now, that is not an insane theory itself, whatsoever!_

"Fight it, Gin. He was destroyed, he's gone. Gone. Gone." Ginny chanted under her breathe, "You can stop it. Will it away."

_Then…why…_

Ginny grimaced at how low his tone had become, how scornful and teasing it sounded. Ginny became horrified when she could basically imagine, no, feel the invisible mouth spread into a foxlike grin. Ney…_snake_like.

…_why have you not even tried to will it away thus far, Ginevra?_

Ginny stared into her own tired brown eyes. "Because, I…"

_**I'm hooked on you**_

_**I need a fix**_

_**I can't take it**_

_**Just one more hit**_

_**I promise I can deal with it**_

_**I"ll handle it, quit it**_

_**Just one more time**_

_**Then that's it**_

_**Just a little bit more, to get me through this**_

"I…," and then, she sobbed, "I don't know how! I have no idea of how to break the bond!"

Silence. No reply followed. That had meant he chose to go dormant again.

Ginny's thick tears dripped into the sink once she hunched over it, her hands tightly clutched the cool white rim. For all these years, she had felt so obligated to protect her…well, their secrets…if anyone learned the exact damage she had done…what he had made her do using that diary….

"_Oh, wait, that's right. I have Slughorn's party to go to…well I am a bit late._" Ginny recalled, after gaining a portion of her composure back. _"Though, if go now, I could probably make the last part of it."_

She exhaled, and sniffed. _Drip._

_Drip, drip._

_Drop._

Ginny wiped the last of her tears away. While straightening herself up, however, she paused. Her lips parted in astonishment. The sink…the towel she used, her hands as well…were stained with mysterious black splotches. And a peculiar metallic odor flared her senses then. Inquiringly, she glanced back up to view her reflection again.

She cried out.

Her cheeks were smeared with…

Her eyes were rimmed with…dripping with…how could she have ever missed that?

She was crying….

Ginny frantically turned the faucet back on.

* * *

><p>Finally, in a shot while, Ginny shyly entered the candlelit dining room, head angled downward as pudding was being passed to the students sitting around the table.<p>

Slughorn tilted back the head chair to see who had she really was, "Ah, Miss Weasley, come in, come in!"

From the side, Hermione frowned and leaned towards Harry. "Look at her eyes," she whispered in his ear, "they must have been fighting again—her and Dean."

"Sorry," Ginny responded softly, "I'm not usually late."

Abruptly and boldly, Harry had stood up from his place when she approached. Ginny gave him a suspicious look as she lowered herself into an empty seat.

"No matter," Slughorn chuckled. "You're just in time for dessert, that is, if Belby's left you any."

Harry cleared his throat, and awkwardly settled himself back down as well, scowling at a smirking Hermione.

Throughout the rest of dessert, Ginny kept mostly to herself, hardly taking a bite, and made the least amount of eye contact as possible. Relief washed over her after Harry hadn't actually said anything at all. She inwardly panicked for a moment when he stood up so swiftly in the manner he did, and with that strange expression. She was worried that Harry, of all people had noticed. Worried that he would have created a dramatic scene by hounding her with questions regarding what had happened to her. But he didn't act like the hero of the day this time, and she was grateful for that.

Ginny was entirely grateful that Harry—or anyone else hadn't observed, under the candlelight—even though she had tried her best to wash them away, her cheeks were still slightly discolored, stained with streaks of fresh ink.


End file.
